I was shocked several days ago (as I’m sure we all were) by the graphic news reports coming out of America detailing the recent massacre In Aurora, Colorado, where a crazed gunman entered a packed cinema on the opening night of The Dark Knight Rises, the conclusion to Christopher Nolan’s darker re-imagining of the Batman franchise, and opened fire on the unsuspecting crowd after blinding them with a tear-gas canister.

The culprit of this attack was able to obtain a 12-gauge shotgun, belt-fed assault rifle (a semi-automatic civilian version of the famous M16 rifle used widely in theatres of war by American armed forces since the impenetrable jungles of Vietnam) & two handguns legally at his local gun store. Additionally, he purchased over 6000 rounds of assorted ammunition from various sites online in the weeks preceding the attack. He had apparently dyed or painted his hair red and referred to himself as ‘The Joker’ to law enforcement after exiting the theatre, where he had just shot and killed 12 people and wounded a further 58 whilst wearing head-to-toe body armour, including a tactical load-bearing vest (again, with its roots in the military after first being utilized by Navy SEALs during the Vietnam conflict) to enable him to carry his evil arsenal of weaponry and ammunition.

America, FUCK YEAH!

I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s a given that this guy is a dyed-in-the-wool psychopathic motherfucker, but you’ve got to ask; is it really necessary for a civilian to be able to obtain a gun that has the ability to fire 100 rounds with one drum magazine at a rate of 60 rounds-per-minute? Had the Smith & Wesson M&P 15 he had purchased (the M&P stand for Military and Police, how fucking ironic) not jammed whilst he was firing it into the crowd, causing him to have to revert to the far less powerful alternative in the .40 S&W Glock handgun, “…he could have wiped out the entire audience in a few minutes” (according to a senior FBI agent.)

I love the oft-heard claim that these weapons are for ‘home protection’.

“Yes officer, that’s correct, there were 100 men attempting to break into my house. Lucky I had my 100-round belt-fed semi-automatic rifle to protect my family. Had I only had a 30-round semi-automatic rifle, I would’ve been a goner for sure!”

What is it with Americans and their guns? They love them. Even with tragedies like this one happening far too often in their society they still swear black-and-blue that their gun laws are fine, just the way they are. Colorado is a particular hotspot (you know you’ve had a few too many massacres when there’s a Wikipedia page titled ‘Shootings in Colorado’) for this type of malevolence.

I received a startling insight into American culture the other day while watching Southland, a television show about LA police officers on-the-beat. It stars Ben McKenzie, who shot to fame playing loveable wrong-side-of-the-tracks rogue Ryan Atwood in every 18 year olds’ favourite wet-dream, The OC. Strangely, he now seems to be the only kid from that show still getting a decent/regular acting gig. Mischa Barton is too busy being a talentless coke whore and appearing in Noel Gallagher music videos without her kit on, I guess…

Anyway, in the show there’s always a shooting going on… bodies pile up in every episode as detectives chase after drug dealers, rapists, murderers, gang-bangers etc. Really bloody, gruesome stuff. In one scene, there’s a drug-addict that gets dumped in an alleyway in a bad part of town after being shot to death. When the officers arrive on the scene there are a number of young kids poking her bloodied corpse with sticks and kicking her. In this same show, they bleep out ‘swear’ words that aren’t even that offensive (in my opinion), like asshole and shithead. I mean, asshole is no cunt, that’s for sure. (What a sentence!)

How about the occasional sex scene? You’ve got to be kidding!

I don’t know about you, but I’d much prefer to be desensitised to a spot of bad language or the occasional side-boob than to killing rafts of people with semi-automatic weapons that I can easily buy at the shop down the street. Is that crazy?

/end communication