I made mention in a previous post of the hipster-friendly Australian band San Cisco. Watch their video for their highly forgettable song Awkward here (you’ll need to for the rest of this post to make sense, I’m sorry… I’m fucking sorry alright?) There seems to be a wave of people in Australia shaving one side of their head and losing themselves these days, and not in a good way (like when you have 4 tabs of LSD with breakfast and chase a magical dragon through an enchanted rainbow rainforest on the back of a unicorn that you constantly refer to as ‘your trusty steed’.)

A friend ran into a West Australian in Vietnam on his way back from Europe and asked him what Perth was like (having never been there)….

“Mate, it’s fucking bullshit. Everyone dresses like those pricks from San Cisco. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.”

The Rickenbacker – often looks better than it sounds…

Right… where to begin? It’s bad enough that these talentless spooge-rats have a major recording deal. It’s even worse that their whole shtick is so clearly manipulated to harness the current hipster trend and for the most part, they’ve actually gotten away with it. It’s all just so perfect, isn’t it? The strategic framing of the vintage bike & the old-school phones in the four-windowed split-frame reminiscent of a retro film camera is executed to perfection. They even try to go lo-fi with their choice of mobile phone… Why is it that their text bubbles are carbon-copies of those on iPhone iOS and yet they’re both bashing away merrily on Nokia 3315s that use a grayscale screen and don’t have the ability to create emoticons? Horseshit!

Also, that stupid fucking pleb of a rhythm guitarist has his Rickenbacker strapped so high on his shoulder that it looks like he’s constantly trying to brush errant crumbs off of his lapel when he plays… why? A little message for you, you’re not Angus Young, you’re some fashion-forward skinny-jeans-wearing cunt playing 3 chord Muzak that some studio executive told you to play to cash in on the current trend du-jour, don’t think you’re going to call that one as your signature, I’m fairly sure Ian Curtis got there well before you, you fuck.

This is the most thoroughly unengaging band in the universe. I couldn’t even imagine watching these people play live music because the whole thing is so ridiculously contrived and lacking in substance that I’d be worried I’d walk around to the side of stage on my way to the pisser and see that they’re actually just two-dimensional cut outs, propped up with wooden planks and crude nails like sets in a Hollywood back lot.

Also, your inability to play your instruments with any sort of proficiency is not endearing. It’s fucking pathetic. Playing two barre chords in repetition for an entire song does not make you quirky; it makes you bad at playing the guitar. I don’t care how nonchalant you try to appear whilst playing them either, I can tell it’s quite difficult for you. I guess getting lessons isn’t trendy?

That chick is pretty hot though.

Oh. Right…

/end communication