I’ve got this distinct memory from my childhood of the first time that I heard about the late Australian business titan, Kerry Packer. Known for his outspoken nature, Kerry was one of Australia’s most recognisable (and abrasive) personalities.

One quote in particular stuck in my mind as being incredibly poignant (although I wouldn’t have had an awareness of the word poignant at the time, I just knew that it was…);

‘If a working class Englishman saw a bloke drive past in a Rolls-Royce, he’d say to himself “Come the social revolution and we’ll take that away from you, mate”. Whereas if his American counterpart saw a bloke drive past in a Cadillac he’d say “One day I’m going to own one of those”. To my way of thinking the first attitude is wrong. The latter is right.’

I couldn’t agree more wholeheartedly. There’s a huge difference between ambition and expectation. While I’m driven to succeed by ambition, I don’t expect any assistance from anyone in my career or my life in general. I’m more than happy to do it myself. This puts me at odds with a significant portion of the Australian population, for whom expectation is a part of everyday life.

I could launch into my take on the existing (and incredibly stale) argument about dole bludgers and people fraudulently claiming disability pensions living on taxpayer money, but that’d be a trite conversation with a familiar ending. No, I’m going after a different, albeit just as infuriating fish; the holier-than-thou labour-industry worker.

You know, the guy that thinks that his job is more important than anyone else’s because he physically exerts himself on a daily basis? Somehow, he believes that because he performs manual labour tasks, this makes his occupation more valid a calling than someone who works in an office.

The forklift – a vehicle for unwarranted self-righteousness.

These types are the ones that complain about the large salaries paid by corporations to CEOs. I’m sure you’ve all been subjected to their bogan rhetoric before, generally along the lines of, “What the fuck would those cunts know about hard work? All they ever do is sit in a fucking office, doin’ fuck all. I’m out here bustin’ me arse every day and I can’t catch a fuckin’ trick. I better speak to me union rep and threaten a stop-work action if they don’t give me a fuckin’ payrise quick smart, hey cunt.”

Now, what this imbecile neglects to mention is that this ‘overpaid’ CEO might be in charge of a company responsible for 10,000 employees and hundreds of thousands of shareholders, all of whom are directly impacted by any move he/she may make. This CEO may have little to no social life outside of work, may be getting less than 5 hours of sleep per night for years on end and may have been working 80 hour + weeks for the last decade in order to obtain their current role.

Don’t forget the years of combined University and Post-Graduate study too (of which a great deal is completed while this person is working in their high-stress, demanding role).

Just because this person isn’t covered in brick dust or proficient in the art of controlling a forklift, it doesn’t mean that they’re less hard-working than you. In fact, they’ve undoubtedly worked significantly harder than you, that’s why they’re earning $5m a year and you’re struggling to meet the mortgage repayments on that rendered monstrosity of a four bedroom house you bought on 90% finance from a second-tier Bank.

Let me state for the record – If for some reason we ever end up living in a world where people are paid on an increasing scale dependent on the level of physical exertion they have to give during the course of their working day, shoot me in the fucking face. Seriously…

CEOs get paid what they’re worth. So do belligerent, ignorant cunts.

/end communication