I was eating dinner tonight watching Seven (begrudgingly, it’s the only station my rabbit-ears antenna will pick up while we wait for Foxtel to get installed back into the house) when an advertisement for television show “Beauty and the Geek” came on the box.  This show pairs a group of overtly nerdy blokes (clearly made to look more geeky than they actually are for the benefit of a catatonic TV audience) up with some beauties (read: future trophy wives just biding their time, ensuring that their beauty persists at least into their 30s with regular, regimented skin maintenance and a thorough exercise regime). I instantly imagined those who’d auditioned for both sides and been unsuccessful. That’d be a pretty big return to Earth, wouldn’t it? Especially for the girls…

“Well, you’re definitely vacuous, thoroughly inept and stupid enough Tameka (or some other name that’s equally as low-rent), but unfortunately you just aren’t attractive enough to fulfil our brief. I’m afraid it’s back to a job in retail for you! Don’t let the door hit you on your slightly-too-big-for-TV arse on the way out.” Fuck, I’d love to be a self-loathing network executive dishing out the rejection letters for that monumental fucking train-wreck. It undoubtedly drags a large audience too, which makes me want to set off an atom bomb and kill all of humanity for what we’ve become.

Oh well, at least it isn’t House Husbands…

Pat Rafter – What a god damn Alabama dreamboat…

I also noticed over the last couple of days on WordPress that third-party advertisements have started popping up on my blog. I did a bit of hunting about and found that the fuckers can put them on there of their own free will. Unsure if anyone else can see them, but if they continue to appear, I’ll shift the blog to another site, ‘cause I aint no corporate whore (despite working for a Bank).

Oh, and a quick word on Australian sports ‘stars’, namely Bernard Tomic. After being blasted out of the U.S. Open by former champion (and all around all-American jock hero) Andy Roddick, Tomic threw a tantrum in the press conference when a sports-journalist asked him a very simple, very straightforward question relating to comments made by former tennis ace John McEnroe about Bernard ‘tanking’ against the retiring American (because he played so abysmally).

Tomic asked for the reporter by name, making a big song and dance about the question instead of answering it like a man. This is the latest in a series of poor-bloke acts rapidly stacking up against the naturalised Australian. Tomic is a far cry from our former tennis champions. I remember a time when Pat Rafter served and volleyed his way into our hearts. Affable, laid-back and one of the last greats of the net game, Rafter was extremely likeable AND could actually play tennis. These are all attributes that he possesses that the young Tomic doesn’t share.

Perhaps Tomic should focus less on driving neon orange high-performance BMWs around town like a spoilt rich kid, getting speeding tickets and then blaming the cops for targeting him because he’s foreign (nothing to do with the fact that he was speeding, of course) and focus a little more on tennis.

I’d rather Australia go another 20 years without winning a Grand Slam than have Tomic win it for us.

What a fucking cunt.

/end communication