What the fuck is, “Brynne Edelsten’s My Bedazzled Life”?  Am I having some sort of terrible nightmare where society has degenerated to the level that a show like this exists and appeals to some of us? Oh Jesus, someone get Anton Chigurh’s captive bolt pistol and put me out of my fucking misery already.

I mean seriously, is this really a television show? There has got to be an employee in the programming department at Seven with some sort of aggressive dependency on methamphetamines or ‘bath salts’; it’s the only logical solution that I can possibly think of for this monstrosity ever having been created. After the show aired tonight an intrepid News Limited journalist, Siobhan Duck, was apparently shocked that the show wasn’t carefree and fun as intended, and instead (perhaps unwittingly) painted Brynne as a lonely, eager-to-please & depressed girl.

You don’t say?

If I was a 29-year old trussed-up Yank, away from family & home and married to a busted old fogey I’d probably be a little on the bleak side as well. In fact, making a television show about the excessive shopping I do in order to fill the void left by the lack of a single meaningful relationship in my life would probably appear to be a good idea. At least it’d be something to do. I nearly choked on my Coco-pops the other day when I read that Brynne is only 29 – what the fuck? She looks like she is about 45, a real old boiler. Perhaps if she stopped shopping at the same place that Priscilla: Queen of the Desert shops she’d look a little more like a twentysomething.

“Fucking Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

This show follows the Ten Network’s ‘The Shire’ & ‘Being Lara Bingle’, both of which were ratings shockers and shocking programs. Surely the writing is on the wall. NOONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. I don’t ever want to hear about them, now or in the future. They’re just a bunch of fucking train wrecks with nothing of value to add to this world whatsoever.

And what of Brynne’s partner, Geoffrey Edelsten? The multi-millionaire ‘medical entrepreneur’ was struck off the New South Wales medical register in 1988 for over servicing (deliberately carrying out more clinical or preventative work than necessary or needed in order to fleece money out of patients) and for having unqualified people carry out laser surgery (really, you fucking cunt?)

To get an idea of how much of a vain, vacuous, self-absorbed ass-hat Geoffrey Edelsten is, simply go and have a look at his website. The landing page intersperses between pictures of his sports cars and his numerous medical qualifications. What an absolute prat. The funniest part of all of that is that Edelsten is unable to practice as a doctor and hasn’t been able to for some time, therefore rendering all of those qualifications completely useless.

Nearly as useless as his old dick.

/end communication