Honestly, the absolute fiasco that is the Australian Federal Government right now is surely enough to make even the most passionate Liberal or Labor supporter feel a little dejected. What a bunch of fucking morons. Not only do we have a (former) Speaker of the House, Peter Slipper (or ‘Mr Slippyfist’ as I like to call him), basically just a big ol’ fashioned creep sending a message that refers to female genitalia as ‘a bottle of mussel meat’ – one of hundreds of sexually oriented messages to his then adviser James Ashby, we’ve also got a Prime Minister & an Opposition Leader too busy involving themselves in political point-scoring to focus on actually discussing anything of note in the public arena.

The whole, ‘He said, she said’ nature of the current discourse occurring in and out of parliament question time (and being defended or rejected in equal measure by supporters of each party on social media like I GIVE A FUCK!) is enough to make me forget why they’re even there in the first place.

“No more big daddy chair for me… how am I going to get rid of all the porn on these computers though?”

Abbott has been lambasted for stating that the current government should have ‘died of shame’ (the exact same phrase that Alan Jones used when referring to Julia Gillard’s late father last week), a term that he has admittedly used a number of times before (17, by his count), but still somewhat in bad taste considering the events of the last week. He’s either incredibly fucking stupid and willingly said it to gain a rebuttal or genuinely didn’t realise what impact the comment would have (also very fucking stupid). Gillard erupted in parliament yesterday, a move celebrated by Labor supporters happy to see that their leader actually has some hint of underlying personality.


All this talk about misogyny shits me too… really? As far as I see it, Gillard supported Slipper and if she truly is incensed by misogynistic behaviour, why would she be supporting a bloke (a somewhat delicate term for those of you who saw today’s question time) who referred to Liberal frontbencher Sophie Mirabella as an ‘ignorant botch’ (sic) and compares female genitalia to seafood?

The answer? It works, politically.

If you’re a woman in politics and an opponent deems that you’ve done a shit job of something, they have every right to call you out for it in EXACTLY the same way that they would do if you were male. Indeed, to not treat you in the same way as they would a male counterpart is misogynistic in my opinion. Using your gender as a crutch in defence is a cheap move akin to using race or disability in an unwarranted way in order to disarm an opponent’s argument or case against you. It’s weak, unbecoming and quite frankly fucking appalls me. It appears that this is exactly the tactic being employed by the Labor Government to deal specifically with the Alan Jones incident and more widely with Tony Abbott & the Liberal Party’s campaign to win the next election, a campaign he is doing a good enough job of losing all by himself at the current minute.

By the way, if you find yourself wondering how/why we as a nation tend to end up with the kinds of absolute retards running the country that we do, do yourself a favour (disservice) and drop into a Young Liberal or an Australian Young Labor function unannounced one night. A number of these people will end up moving into politics in due course; their time in these breeding grounds allows them to more aptly adhere to the definition of ‘toeing the party line’.

Seriously though, what a bunch of chinless fucking wonders. If there’s one thing that bores the shit out of me more than anything else, it’s watching two equally uninspiring but incredibly well-versed (in party dogma) cunts trying to verbally one-up each other in the presence of an equally uninspiring captive audience with a disproportionate amount of boys called Tristan & Christian in it. It’s like being forced to watch on as two elderly people provide mutual oral stimulation to each other in a bath-tub filled with equal portions of low-grade blade steak & room-temperature custard; truly awful.

This debacle, just another one of the myriad reasons why I refuse to enrol to vote.

Get your act together, you useless fucking twats.

/end communication