I’m going for 400 words max tonight. I’ve got places to be and people to see. I’m so conscious of hitting 400 that I wrote the last two words of this entry first, because they never, EVER change.

So, the Labor Government managed to hold onto their moral high ground in Federal Parliament for all of 2 days before someone made a wisecrack about a Liberal party staffer. Well done CFMEU, for hiring one of your union mates to give a ridiculous stand-up performance under the blatantly un-funny ‘Fair Go For Billionaires’ moniker, a man who’s likely to make you laugh about as much as if you had the contents of your stomach forcibly sucked out of your mouth by an industrial strength vacuum cleaner and then blown back into your eyes while ‘Bad’ by Michael Jackson plays at double-speed on a really low-quality treble-heavy portable stereo in the background.

(Yes, you are bad Michael, little boys know what your penis looks like…)

The worst part of all of this for you, Labor? This union joker has undone all of the good work that you’ve done with your incessant chest beating about misogyny over the last couple of days. What I really want to know is why isn’t this joke public knowledge? Surely if we’re going to be subjected to news story after news story about the horror of what was said, we should get to know what all the hoo-hah is about?

I mean, I can make a fair assumption. It’s probably something to do with Peta Credlin & Tony Abbott engaging in some sort of lascivious sexual act, or perhaps something to do with her holding such a high position in the Liberal party in spite of her age/relative attractiveness and some sort of fucked-up deviant reason for this being the case. Indeed, I didn’t hear ‘Fair Go For Billionaires’ (seriously, what a shit stage-name) make a wisecrack about Abbott going balls deep in sassy battle-axe (and the representative for the Division of Mackellar) Bronwyn Bishop.

Anyway, that’s politics isn’t it? Just a bunch of inept pricks clumsily fumbling over each other like a couple of virgins on the night of their leavers’ dinner.

I mean, sure, you both seem capable enough on the surface…

The reality? Although you try to do your best to fuck each other, both of you just end up getting fucked…

/end communication