A whole bunch of swimmers/surfers got chomped up by Great White Sharks in W.A. in the last twelve months – something in the order of five or six if I remember correctly. This has led to a re-ignition of the debate around whether or not Great Whites should be culled to limit their numbers. Just recently, the W.A. government announced a $6.85 million ‘shark mitigation’ package (I love it how they call it shark mitigation, so fancy!) to be rolled out over the next four years.

The thing that has people up in arms the most is that, within this package, approximately $2 million will be spent specifically on catching and killing sharks that might go and take a chomp or two out of a person enjoying a swim at or around the beach. Catch ‘em and kill ‘em, that’s the motto.

I’m not for a minute disputing the grief that the families of those who lost their lives to shark attacks would go through in the aftermath of such a horrendous event; indeed, of all the myriad ways there are to have your Survivor torch of life snuffed out, death from horrific shark attack is in my top 5 least desirable death scenarios (just below burning to death in a house fire and just above being suffocated by a group of midgets dressed as penguins while they chant rhythmically in a language I don’t understand). Plus, you’d never be able to watch the Jaws movies again without feeling a little dirty.

Da Duh Da Duh Da Duh Da Duh…

One of the guys that got attacked in W.A. recently was apparently bitten clean in half by a Great White as he swum 200 metres off the shore. That’s pretty fucking gnarly, isn’t it? No open coffin for that guy. Well, maybe with a big cummerbund he’d get away with it…

I mean, I understand the dynamic that occurs when the prevention of hunting a species such as Great Whites is enforced (population stocks grow, overall sizes of the sharks become larger, encroachment into populated areas etc.) but isn’t it kind of nice to know that there’s an animal out there still capable of tearing us all to shreds? The Great White is the Apex predator of the ocean.

It’s my opinion that surfers & swimmers should be able to form an opinion of the inherent dangers associated with co-existing (and that’s what it is, co-existing) with sharks in Australia’s oceans & decide whether to partake or forgo as they see fit. Indeed, some of the families of shark attack victims have come out in direct opposition to any sort of culling action, acknowledging that the risk of attack is an innate risk that their loved one understood when he/she took to the water.

We dominate so many animals as it is; is it really necessary to go on a bloodthirsty shark hunt for vengeance just because they chomped a few of us?

Fuck it, they don’t make ‘human arm’ soup and serve it up in shitty little Sharktown restaurants now, do they?

/end communication