Pop the corks on the champagne people and let the low-rent strippers onto the balcony to celebrate with you… today bankingcommish achieved its 10,000th unique page view. As October draws to a close, my challenge officially enters into its third and final trimester. I use the word trimester, but I think I’m selling myself a little short really… after all, this endeavour is clearly far more excruciatingly painful and drawn out than child birth could ever hope to be, right ladies?

10000. Thanks, Czech Republic.

Right ladies???

One of the unexpected sources of a significant amount of humour for me during this ordeal has been the information I’ve managed to mine out of the wordpress site itself on the habits of Google users; you see, the blog interface actually shows me where in the world people are viewing the blog from and also the search that they’ve put into Google to end up at my page. It’s like being shown a portal into the minds of Internet users, who are clearly a bunch of total creeps. Suffice to say, there have been some pretty fucked up searches that have led to the hallowed pages of the ‘commish, some of which I’ll share with you now (as well as providing context as to why they may have linked to me in the first place). There have also been some innocent searches that may well end up scarring the user for life…

Pissing cocks – 1 view…

‘Goon price increase’ – searched 24 times.

I laughed when I saw this pop up the first time. After the 10th time, I was thinking, “Shit, this actually does mean quite a bit to quite a few people.” 24 separate times? Mental. I love how the searches were all for ‘goon price increase’ not ‘box wine price increase’. Classy.

‘the fucking project with cunt dave hughes’ – searched 2 times

One of the first pieces I wrote was on how shit ‘The Project’ on Channel 10 is. The owner of this web search clearly agreed with the sentiment, and was dutifully linked to my own vitriol about that gap-toothed cunt.

‘religions fucking each other’ – searched 2 times.

No description necessary.

‘brynne edelsten useless cunt’ – searched 1 time.

Again, no description really necessary, although I’m sure the searcher was nodding their head profusely while digesting the literary bile I spat over the ex-stripping Arizonian sugar-daddy lover.

‘hilltop hoods’ – searched 29 times

It warms the cockles of my heart to know that Hilltop Hoods fans have read what I wrote.

‘Pissing Cocks’ – searched 1 time.

Hahahahahah. What?

‘fat kid drinking from garden hose’ – searched 1 time.

I have absolutely no idea how this links to my page, but it makes me happy nonetheless.

‘what does reece mastin look for in a girl’ – searched 1 time.

When I first stumbled across this one, it made me cry with laughter. I imagine some poor 14 year-old girl (her name would be Piper, or something equally suburban-chic), sitting in front of the TV watching X-Factor with her parents when Reece Mastin comes on. She’s instantly enamoured by the boy, so, being the generation Y kid she is, she asks Google what Reece looks for in his ideal mate…

She is then linked to the blog, where I refer to Mastin as a ’teenage X-Factor fuck-puppet’ who ‘gives slobbery blowjobs to Sony executives in their ornately furnished boardroom’.

Imagine the look on poor Piper’s face! Innocence lost…

/end communication