Fuck, if you’d been looking at your Facebook wall at some time in the last 8 weeks, you might have guessed that Radiohead are currently in the process of undertaking an Australian tour… What is it with Radiohead fans that they feel the need to jam how great the band are down everyone else’s throats all the fucking time? Honestly, I don’t think they’ve done anything noteworthy past Kid A, regardless of what their legions of evangelical fans might have you think. The worst offenders are the fans that write on posts written by other fans about the Radiohead gig they’ve just been to in a different capital city with something droll like, “OMG so jealous, until next week when I see them!”

Just fuck off, seriously.

Speaking of evangelists (sweet segue), the other topic-du-jour all over media this week has been Barack Obama’s successful bid for another term as US President which was cemented earlier in the week. The overarching sentiment from Australia appears to be undying support for the incumbent head of state, which is completely understandable considering his opposition (right-wing religious republicanism not exactly the flavour of the month down here). Regardless, there were a number of pundits that believed that the 2012 race for the White House would be a close one – the actual result ended up being far more one-sided due to the complex way in which votes are allocated in the States (what, so I could win the popular vote but lose the election? How the fuck does that work)

Did the race ever deserve to be close is my question? My mind is blown by some of the personalities that US Presidential races seem to throw up. Mitt Romney was no exception. I wouldn’t vote for him, purely based on the fact that he’s a Latter Day Saint. I mean, I think that religion of any kind is a little icky and I’m loathe to find myself anywhere near a church, mosque etc., but fucking hell, Mormonism? Come on! That shit IS crazy. Magic pyjamas, plural marriages (not practised by all Mormons, sure, but still mental), abstention from consuming alcohol or drugs and interrupting people’s weekends to tell them about God? Get fucked.

Obama has his work cut out for him. I’m sure we’ve all heard about the ‘fiscal cliff’ that the States is currently on the precipice of, and regardless of whether this comment is correct or not, some austerity measures will have to be implemented to ensure that the States doesn’t launch itself into a recession, dragging the rest of the already punch-drunk world economy into a decades-long black hole with it. This will be difficult, considering the theme of Obama’s first term appeared very much to focus on continuing spending, re-distributing wealth (a common policy for left-leaners) & improving social services.

Sure, he was starting from a low mark (George W., anyone?). This term will be his real test.

How old will Hillary Clinton be in 2016?

/end communication