Man, I just finished watching a Louis Theroux documentary on ABC iView titled, ‘The City Addicted to Crystal Meth.’ Wow, watching that hour of champagne television is sure to put a dampener on your Monday night. I’m instantly depressed. Some of the most busted individuals on the face of the Earth featured in that doco. They made Gollum from Lord of the Rings look like a Victoria’s Secret model. Note to self – if in California, don’t go to Fresno (unless planning to get shot for the change in your pocket).

The fucking Catholic Church, hey? That ‘fucking’ was placed deliberately in front of Catholic, because it would appear that a significant amount of hush-hush buggery has been swept under the rug by Catholic Church administrators to protect their clergymen from prosecution by victims only now coming to terms with atrocities committed by these gimps several decades ago.

*Insert highly inappropriate comment about those two fingers here.*

The whole concept of abstinence from sex for clergymen is ludicrous to me. It’s completely unnatural. The idea (when the concept was introduced a few millennia ago, of course) was that the priest’s abstinence from sex was a special gift to God and would allow them to focus more completely on serving God & their community. In reality, all it does is twist the minds of already off-kilter (you’d have to be off kilter, wouldn’t you?) blokes that decide to donate their lives to the Lord, turning them into monsters that irrevocably ruin the lives of young children. Bad deal, God, bad deal!

You know that there is actually a national support group set up by the Church to handle abuse complaints and give care to victims? It’s called ‘Towards Healing’. The Church has come under fire recently for allegedly settling a number of claims of abuse outside this internal complaints system in order to try and minimise public exposure to the harrowing cases. I mean, fuck, correct me if I’m wrong, but surely it’s blatantly fucking obvious that there is an endemic kiddy-fiddling problem amongst the clergy if there’s a national support group & an organisation sneakily doling out clandestine compensation cheques for sexual abuse claims? Mental.

Now, old mate Julia Gillard has decided to launch a Royal Commission into child sex abuse, focussing not only on the Church, but also the Boy Scouts & sporting bodies. I feel sorry for the 1% of men who actually want to be Scout leaders and have no interest in digital penetration, there’d be so much prejudice in that role…

“But I just love kids…”

I bet you do.

And to think that God probably isn’t even real…


Oh, wait. I didn’t mean it like that.

/end communication