Another day, another step closer towards the Bankingcommish dollars. The finish line is in sight now; I’ve only got another 40 or so entries and this whole fiasco is over. For those of you financially obligated under the terms of the Bankingcommish agreement, please take this as a warning that I will be seeking full remuneration on December 28th via electronic transfer. Noting the fact that you’ve all got Christmas presents to buy for family and friends which will no doubt create some sort of financial drain upon those of you who don’t have a ‘Christmas Club’ account set up (or a ChrisCo hamper, creeps…), perhaps put a note in your diary that your financial obligations this festive season extend beyond the people you love and care about (as in, they also extend to me).

You know why you should all get ready? I’m fucking finishing this thing, that’s why.


Unrequited Love – It’s the Montagues & the Capulets all over again..

If I read one more back page story in the Herald Sun (aka the World’s biggest shit-rag) about Dustin Martin supposedly being off-the-rails (despite giving no evidence to support this), I’m going to storm their headquarters downtown, string Jon Ralph from the ceiling with piano wire and viciously beat him to death with The Guardian newspaper (he didn’t actually write the most recent story, but the sweet catharsis of killing him with a paper worthy of publication would be ironic and enjoyable to me, because he is a moronic douchebag).

I absolutely despise the concept that ALL footballers, and indeed sportspeople in general, have to be role models for the rest of society. These are people who are paid to win for their team & their supporters, not to appease the imbecilic throngs of morality-stricken mums & dads groggily digesting mass media on a daily basis with their morning corn-flakes. I understand that many players have obligations tied into their contracts regarding media & charity commitments, but it’s got to be acknowledged that not all sportspeople are cut from the same cloth, as it were.

“Oh, I just can’t believe it – I read that (insert player name here) was out until all-hours night, and he was clearly intoxicated. My lord, what a disgrace! He’s not setting a good example for my children… ”

As long as Dustin Martin continues to kick ass and take names on a football field & doesn’t prevent any of his teammates from doing the same, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

I’m telling you right now, if I was a professional athlete in my mid-20s with a huge disposable income and no commitments outside of playing sport, I’d be the biggest reptile this side of Jurassic Park.

/end communication