Sigh…

Don’t buy a copy of New Idea or NW and use the line “I know it’s bad, it’s just my weekly guilty pleasure, you know?” to justify your fucking purchase, alright! Realistically, you need to take a moment from instantly gratifying your petty human desires & remove yourself from the situation for just one moment. Contemplate the ramifications of supporting an industry that places tip-rats like Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton on a pedestal (and on the front page every other fucking week) with headlines as ludicrous as, “Kim’s new bikini body…”

I really don’t understand the fascination with publications that spout literally made-up shit about people that nobody should by-rights give a shit about. It blows my mind that somewhere out there, some greasy paparazzi fucktard is getting paid $50,000 a photo for snaps of Paris Hilton walking a dog dressed in an Yves Saint Laurent onesie somewhere in Hollywood. It’s mind-boggling…. And no, I don’t give A SINGLE SOLITARY FUCK what Kim Kardashian is wearing this summer; it could be a fucking crotchless hot-dog costume for all I fucking care. I also don’t give a fuck who she’s fucking, what she’s doing ‘in the business world’ (note: nothing Kim Kardashian has done in the business world is even worth talking about, apart from the $5m QuickTrim class action currently underway against the company, and her).

By purchasing a New Idea, an NW, a Women’s Day, Women’s Weekly, etc. etc., you’re inadvertently and inexplicably funding an industry that thrives on creating celebrity gossip out of thin air (“A source close to the actress said…), praying on people’s insecurities about their own bodies or lives, creating false idols who’ve achieved nothing other than accidentally (read: deliberately) having sex-tapes released in order to place them in the public eye and generally lowering the standard of societal discourse today, tomorrow & into the future.

If you think that we’re headed in the wrong direction now, contemplate what life will be like if we fast-forward another 40 years.

Another 40 years of social media saturation to make you think that any of this matters…

Another 40 years of people talking about how ‘real’ they are…

Another 40 years of hyper-sexualised kids taking their cues from busted, talentless whores like Kim Kardashian. “Mum, I wanna be famous like Kim.” Ugh.

Another 40 years of artificial stories written about artificial people in an artificial reality created in order for others to escape their own existences, whatever the cost…  

My creed? Just don’t buy them. Let these cunts die a slow & painful death, like a gut-shot prison escapee bleeding out in a field somewhere.

The only person that was ever allowed to buy New Idea was my nan.

She bought it for the crosswords…

/end communication

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