Man, I’m getting fucking sick at the worst time of the year. I’ve dodged any hint of a flu or cold all year and now, with a few weeks to go until Christmas and a copious amount of fun I can feel my sinuses blocking up and my throat getting all scratchy. The worst part is, when I get sick, it’s normally ‘end of the world’ sick, and I’m basically useless for a week. I guarantee I’ll be bedridden by the weekend, which just happens to be my birthday weekend.

For fucks sake…

To make my impending incapacitation even harder to swallow, I caught wind of awful news today; I’d purchased a ticket to see The Bloody Beetroots sideshow in Melbourne in January while they’re down to play Big Day Out and was very much looking forward to it. Today, they announced that due to ‘logistical issues’ they are no longer performing in Melbourne.

a)      What a bunch of cunts.

b)      What a load of shit.

c)       I’m glad I’ve never paid for their music.

Honestly, if you want to play a gig in a city, you’ll play a gig in that city. Travis Barker from Blink 182 is terrified of flying (due to nearly dying in a Lear jet accident several years ago) and is reportedly going to be sedated for his flight to Australia in several months’ time (for their Soundwave performances and subsequent sideshows) so don’t fucking tell me that you can’t play a gig for fucking ‘logistical reasons’. You’d might as well say, “Oh, sorry I can’t play a sideshow in your city, I have to wash my hair and watch re-runs of the A-Team in my hotel room while eating room service pizza and watching two high-class prostitutes make aggressive digital love to one another while I play ‘Warp 1.9’ so loud that their ears bleed and I get a spontaneous erection.”

Now, the only real option left if I want to check them out is to go to The Big Day Out. I swore in a post several months ago that I’d never step foot inside that fucking hell-hole ever again, and I fully intend to uphold that pledge. Fuck the Big Day Out and fuck The Bloody Beetroots.

I’m going to wait outside their hotel room and throw beetroots covered in pig’s blood at them while yelling obscenities in Italian.

Consumano un sacco di cazzi, fiche!

/end communication

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