Well, the end of the world is coming. On December 21st (if the Mayans are right), civilisation as we know it will cease to exist. It seems that nobody really seems to give the idea any credence, and life has been continuing on as per normal for most of civilisation. I’m actually flying back down to Tasmania again for Christmas with the folks on the 21st, so I may be in for a birds-eye view of Earth imploding on itself and will hopefully have enough fuel to land on a newly formed island somewhere in the Pacific where I can live out my days eating coconuts and spear fishing.

I kind of hope the plane goes down… that sounds pretty good to be honest.

While most people are taking the prediction about the end of the world with a grain of salt, there are a select few spending a significant amount of time and money on getting ready for the end of days. Who, you might ask? The Americans featured on reality television show ‘Doomsday Preppers’ currently airing on Foxtel, that’s who. The show follows a number of different American families and individuals as they show off their arrays of bunkers, foxholes, their extensive arsenals (typical fucking Yanks), canned food supplies, booby-traps, their ability to drink their own urine (seriously, tonight on the show I watched a man filter his urine through a rudimentary pump full of charcoal and drink it, still warm) that they’ve collected/built in the event that some catastrophic event occurs in their lifetime (such as a nuclear strike, an electro-magnetic pulse, a global oil crisis etc. etc.)

Of course, to everybody now, these people look completely batshit crazy. The societal view is that spending 2 months of your annual salary on cans of creamed corn is generally not a good idea. But, I guess it’s a little bit like people who preach the teachings of The Bible; sure it’s fun to make fun of them now, but if they’re right and we’re all wrong, it’s going to be an embarrassing rest of all-of-eternity for the rest of us, getting raped by innumerable 40-foot tall demons with penises made of rusted barbed wire in the fiery depths of Hell.

Realistically though, if the end of the world does come and I’m not prepared (I won’t be prepared… actually, I might have a spare Kit Kat), I don’t really mind. I’m confident that I’ve watched enough episodes of The Walking Dead, Survivor & The X Files to ensure that I’m ready for whatever it is that brings the world to its knees. In reality, I’ll just be going door to door, stomping out doomsday preppers and raiding their stores (and maybe raping their wives).  

The rape part was a joke.

The stomping part wasn’t…   

/end communication