I drove a two hour round trip to Launceston this afternoon to pick my brother up from the airport. That was shit. It’s like getting into a time machine and travelling two hours into the future; it doesn’t achieve anything and it’s time that you can’t get back (wait, unless you have a time machine, but then you’d probably meet your prior self (from two hours previous) and chaos would ensue). What was more shit, however, were the motorists who drive at 100 kilometres per hour (when the speed limit is 110), only to speed up to 120 k’s per hour when you reach an overtaking lane. Seriously, what goes through their fucking heads?

“Ooh, I’ve got some space now, time to put the pedal to the metal!”

What a bunch of cunts. I had to stop myself from giving every one of them the bird as a drove past. I’d say that there’s a fairly good chance I’ll get a speeding ticket in the mail in the next couple of weeks for that little jaunt. I just wanted to get home.

A few quick observations….

Peter FitzSimons

The former rugby union international and prolific author of some frankly pretty good books (read ‘Rats of Tobruk’ and you’ll agree) was on morning television today (which I was watching for the first time in several years, as I generally avoid morning TV in the same manner that Michael Jackson avoided child molestation charges) talking about something or other (clearly the topic was predictably vacuous and of little note whatsoever).

What I did notice, however, was the red bandana wrapped around his head. I’d seen him in the same bandana before, and it was all of a sudden becoming increasingly apparent to me that he was wearing these things all the time as if making a personal statement, in the same way that Molly Meldrum always wears that cowboy hat & Rolf Harris always fucks little boys…


Anyway, my curiosity got the better of me and I searched Google for an answer. I found this post (http://www.mamamia.com.au/entertainment/peter-fitzsimons-talks-sporting-heroes-and-bandanas/) on pro-feminist website ‘mamamia’ (ugh), whereby FitzSimons explains why he wears the red rag on his bald nut. Regardless of his explanation, which was pretty shit, it takes a very vain person to wear the same thing, day in, day out, knowing that they’re in the public eye and questions are likely to be asked about the purpose of the endeavour. Just take the fucking thing off, Peter, you’re not an extra in an early Bruce Lee movie, you cunt.

Aussie Hip-Hop

I listened to Triple J on the drive home and realised just how saturated their radio station is by truly awful Australian Hip-Hop. I don’t understand how middle-class Australians can ‘spit rhymes’ about being down on their luck when we live in one of the most affluent societies on the face of the Earth. If your life is shit, it’s either your fault, or at a stretch, your parent’s fault. Stop fucking whingeing and do something about it.

There is no ‘hard road’ in Australia – just a bunch of soft cunts.

/end communication