Sightseeing, hey? It’s the reason you shell out significant amounts of your hard earned cash to travel halfway across the world, right? After all, places are always popular because they’re worth experiencing. That’s why you often have to line up in 38 degree heat with limited or no shade, stuck behind a fat Midwestern American family who are collectively sweating enough to run a hydro-electric power station (assuming the gradient of the footpath were such that their sweat pooled and ran in the direction of the hypothetical power station).

“Randy, can you pass me and the girls the Oreos? We haven’t eaten for 15 minutes and I’m scared we will die..”

Then, once you’ve waited for the best part of eternity, you’re ushered into the inner sanctum of this ‘once in a lifetime’ tourist attraction, only to find out that it’s actually kind of shit, and you’ve just wasted a significant portion of your holiday for essentially nothing…

Meanwhile, you could have been walking around the city doing something far more entertaining and outsIde the immediate proximity of Randy and the rest of the fat camp. Why didn’t you do that?

Because you feel an obligation to be a good tourist, that’s why! How could you go to Italy and not see the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

Quite fucking easily, that’s how.

/end (holiday) communication